A farcical friendly

Primera Liga side Villareal played their first a pre-season friendly against Catalonian minnows Navata, a tiny club on the Spanish side of the border near Perpignan.

Needless to say, the Yellow Submarines, who qualified for the Europa League by finishing 5^th last season, were convincing winners and notched up an astonishing score of 27-0, which equates to a goal approximately every three or four minutes. Jonathon Pereira was top scorer with 7 goals.

New manager Ernesto Valverde, recruited from Español to replace Madrid bound Manuel Pellegrini, elected to play an entirely different set of players in each half.

Vilamalla, another regional side, are next in the firing line and meet Villareal on Wednesday.

Pellegrini’s Real Madrid also take on lesser opposition this week with a training programme and friendly in Ireland to play Shamrock Rovers.

Barcelona and Inter Milan agree an extraordinary swap deal

Barcelona have made an agreement with Inter Milan to sign striker Zlatan Ibrahimovic in exchange for Samuel Eto’o plus a fee of around £35 million and a one year loan deal for Alex Hleb.

Both teams won their respective leagues last season, but with heavy spending rivals Real Madrid making waves in the transfer market, Barcelona are now looking to make their first big signing.

Barcelona president Joan Laporta said that all the remains is for the players to agree terms. “The signing depends on Ibrahimovic, on Eto’o and all parties.”

The agreement seems a remarkable imbalance: given Manchester City’s bid of approximately £20m for 28 year old Samuel Eto’o, some may argue that the combined fee for Ibrahimovic, just one year younger, is highly inflated and not justifiable.

Inter boss Jose Mourinho describes the Ibrahimovic as “the most talented player he has ever worked with” and “better than Cristiano Ronaldo”. Ibrahimovic has impressed at Europe’s premier clubs, which boasts spells at Ajax and Juventus after beginning his career in his native Malmo.

However, many remain unconvinced by the Swede, despite finishing top scorer in Seria A last season with 20 goals and a goals-to-games ratio higher than 1 in 2 in the last two seasons, due to his failure to shine in European competition In contrast, Eto’o has a proven track record on every level, scoring more than 100 goals in five seasons at Barca as well as goals in two Champions League finals.

But the Cameroon international, whose contract expires in 12 months time, had been strongly linked with moves away from the Champions League winners, notably Manchester City before they ran out of patience at delaying tactics.

Another player the Catalans are being strongly linked with is Valencia’s David Villa, but they may well face competition from Real Madrid and Liverpool.

This is the second deal arranged between the two clubs this year, as full back Maxwell has also joined Barcelona for £3.9 million.

The biggest transfer in world history…and the biggest ego

So, Cristiano Ronaldo has left Manchester United for a new galácticos era at Real Madrid, orchestrated by recently re-elected president Florentino Perez.

Ronaldo commented on his departure that he now believes the Spanish league will have a slight edge in superiority over the Premiership. Real Madrid are to pay United a staggering £80 million, which in this current climate means you can run a Formula 1 team for a season and probably still have some change left over to buy Newcastle United. 

The fee to be paid is new world transfer record, surpassing the Kaka transfer a few days beforehand. Much has been said on the subject, so here is a selection of quotes that took my fancy.

 ”I think it’s a fair figure” – Cristiano Ronaldo

 The great players cost a lot of money and if you want them you have to pay it, I’m happy to be the most expensive player in the world” – Cristiano Ronaldo

 ”Special players are maybe worth that. When you are good, when you are a special player, you are more expensive than the other ones. That’s normal.” – Cristiano Ronaldo in an interview with the Mirror.

 ”It’s true lots of people hate me, but there are even more who love me and who support me. I feel bad only when I play badly. Fortunately that happens rarely.” – Cristiano Ronaldo

 ”I felt the love of the people.” – Cristiano Ronaldo mixing with the 80,000 at the Bernabeu, after some of the crowd attempted a pitch invasion.

 ”When you fall out with Sir Alex, whatever reason […] you’re on their way.” -Tommy Docherty (former Man Utd player) 

 “Footballers are like construction machines. When I buy a new digger, I buy the best quality, the most expensive I can find, because it is a good investment that will last me many years.” – Florentino Perez, Real Madrid President

 ”The hair-gel industry in north-west England suffered a catastrophic blow on Thursday.” - The Los Angeles Times demonstrates its acute awareness of the English game.